Time flies and things change......

It has been awhile.
Too long...

I decided to take this blog into another direction to reflect the ongoing changes in my life. I've gone through ups and downs, lost friends and gained friends, got sick then got better, so I wanted to have a blog that focused more on the good things that are happening with my life.

One of the biggest obstacles that I've faced since my last post was my health. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my right knee and 2 months after that, I was sideline for almost a month with Plantar Fasciitis in my left foot. I felt like my life was turned upside down, I couldn't stand on my feet for a long period of time, I had to wake up 15 minutes earlier to do foot stretches, and I couldn't work out until my foot felt better. I didn't understand why I was going through this, why I was once again sidelined with a conditioned that affected my life and my goal of being a Radiologic Tech. Everyone I talked to wondered how I was going to manage since once of things about being a tech, is that you're on your feet for an extended period of time. To say  I was in a bad head space was an understatement, but little did I know, things always happen for a reason. 

After doing tons of research on Plantar Fasciitis, I realized that losing weight helped with reducing pain and relieving pressure off my feet. After being diagnosed with Plantar Fasciitis in my right foot, I decided to up my gym days. These days I work out 5 days a week and not only has my conditioned improved but I've never felt better. I have more energy, my weight has decreased and my strength has increased. At the time I couldn't see the forest from the trees but now I realized that having this conditioned has turned into a positive experience for me. 

In other news, I'm entering my senior year in Rad. Tech school and it has been an amazing experience. Once again life has shown me, it doesn't matter how much you plan something, life always takes you into a different direction. When I applied to school, I knew I wanted to eventually study Mammography.  This year as a senior, I was able to rotate through an advance modality such as CT, MRI and Mammo. Well of course, I chose Mammography and I was beyond excited to get a chance to learn as much as possible about performing Mammograms. 

Life however, had different plans.

Long story short, after spending a few hours in the Mammo department and having to leave early due to the state performing evaluations, I was sent to the MRI department  to work and observe. Entering school, I knew I had no interest in performing MRI's OR being a MRI tech. It was too hard, too confusing, and I wasn't having anything of it. However, after being there that day and working with the tech who was impressed at my ability to understand how to operate the machine, something clicked for me. I enjoyed it IMMENSELY. As life would have it, the next day after I realized I wouldn't be able to work on cases in the Mammo department, I switched modalities and spent the next 2 weeks being immersed in everything about MRI's. The tech trusted me enough to prep patients in the tube and even remove contrast IV's.  Once my rotation was over, I made the decision that once I graduate and begin working, I will attend the MRI cross training program at my school. I'm still going to do mammo because as a woman tech, it makes me more marketable, but my goal is to be a MRI tech. Luckily, the program is only 3 months and occur 2 nights a week.

I got a job with the YMCA and I'm hoping to get a start date so a girl can get paid. For now, I work at a gym on Saturdays which while nice, I rather not spend my weekends working, I need a serious amount of study time as I prep for the *cues dramatic music* The Big Scary Registry Exam!

Well, that's enough for today. Bye!

my world...

involves muscle relaxers

physical therapy

back pain

and more pain.

This sucks.

My lower back feels like someone is stabbing me with a hot knife.

....And I left my pills in my other bag.

Good going T.

Today.

An hour long MRI is NOT fun.

Neither are the anxiety attacks it caused.

Or the endless tears as well.

To say I'm a nervous, overwhelmed soul on the verge of insanity is the understatement of the year.

By the 30min mark I was trying to crawl out of my skin.

I'm still suffering the effects of being in there for that long.

I hope to god they find whatever is wrong with my neck and my back because heaven help me, I will lose my mind if I have to go through that shit again.

Update?

I've realized that making a few changes in my life has made a world of difference. I'm happier right now, more calmer, I'm more focused on me and my wants, so that definitely helps. It's funny, before the New Year, I did a numerology reading for the upcoming year and it said something about this year, 2011, being a loner year for me.

and you know what?

They're right.

I'm spending more time by myself and just enjoying the quietness. I've always been a loner(severe to some), but this year in particular, I have this incredibly intense need to be left alone. I have no desire to put forth an effort with anyone. I'm more grounded, more resilient, and generally speaking, more "me" centered.

It's been a long time coming.

So I'm happy with how things are going right now

Test

Blogging hiatus...

I don't feel like sharing.
Some things are better kept to yourself.
This month has been a emotionally, spiritually, mentally challegning time.
I haven't even bothered to go into detail with %75 of what REALLY happened. The most people got was %25 of the pie.
I don't feel like involving everyone.
I don't feel like whining or bitching about my problems to anyone, I don't have the energy for that shit anymore.
2011 is going to be different.
My focus is going to be different. I'm promising myself to write in my journal at least once a day.
I want MY dreams to happen.
That's how I'm going to live my life from now on.
If I want you to know something, I'll tell you...trust
If not? then you're on your own holmes.
I'm on the right path.
Everything I've prayed for is coming to fruitation(except for a few minor/major things). So many doors are being opened to me, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I feel good about where I'm heading, I know I'm going to be alright.
Just have to be patient.