Sunday, January 31, 2010

Not you too.........

It's been quite a awhile(dealing with life and shit)

Here's a sexy times update:

So the next runner up in my web of sex&bullshit is Trent aka nerdboy aka whatever dude.

When I first met nerdboy, we bonded over our idea of sex(it's extremely mental for the both of us) and how much we get pleasure from foreplay. Now I'll be honest, that man had my nose WIDE OPEN, I mean we were having mind sex people!. So about a week ago we made a date to meet and greet, and well that was all kinds of fun!

But of course, like fucky(who just hit me up on messenger), he has been a no show for about five days now.

Will he suffer the same fate as fucky? He might, because frankly, both of them have some SERIOUS competition from multiple sex rounds giving, cock ring having, ass worshiping, tattoo sleeves having, Tat boy!

Oh yes, I will go into gory details about my fabulous romp with tat boy tomorrow as we're having a second "date" tonight(at HIS request I might add).

I want to see if our first time was a fluke(because I was past horny that time)or if he's going to keep hitting it out of the park.

Details to come soon.

Lord I hope he knock my walls out tonight.

Wha??????
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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Do not pass go...

Name: Kevin

Status: Deactivated

Why: his communication sucked.

This one, like fucktard, showed some promise in the beginning. But one thing I didn't like was his sporadic responses, meaning he would send me a text at 1135pm, I would reply, then nothing from him, but then he would hit me up like a day later, or some other crap.

That ish got annoying, real fast, real quick.

So anyway, we set a date two weeks ago and honestly, I had to be dragged there kicking and screaming. It was cold, I was tired and cranky, and it was the most boring date everrrrr. Goodness I couldn't wait to go home. That night, I decided to cut him off because there was NOTHING there!

But

That very weekend, fucktard did his whole disappearing act and I decided that since Kevin was there, and was a willing participant(he sent an email the next day asking if I wanted to come to his place to watch porn....of *course* I said yes), why not activate him?

So on Sunday we made another date for that coming Friday, why didn't hear anything from this fool, until Thursday afternoon?

Jigga what?

DENIED!

No communication, no ass.

It's that simple.

So after ignoring his lame ass text, I received an email from him the next day asking if we can try to meet up again.

Um....no.

I sent him a email that frankly, there was not enough chemistry(it was the truth!) and that I was no longer interested.

The end!

Next up....?????????
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Monday, January 18, 2010

The story continues.....

So after my "date" with Fucktard, we spoke the next day, just shooting the breeze, reviewing all the things we liked about our time spent in bed, etc etc.

The next morning I woke up horny as hell(what else is new?), so I decided to send Mr. Fucktard a msg to see what he was up to since I was feeling frisky.

And........

No. Response.

Ok, bruh, cool my man.

So at the advice of Dr. Q, I put him on ice until Monday.

Monday comes and goes and no word from him
So does Tuesday
And by Wednesday I'm all over the place wondering what the fuck is going on!

I did remember that he mentioned that his mom was sick so I figured that was one of the reasons why(Q thought he was away on business).

Fast forward to Wednesday night and I had decided to send him a email, a nice one I might add, just to inquire if everything was alright with him.

Thursday morning I checked my email and saw that he responded. He stated that he was out of town on business(San Francisco) that week we didn't speak.(Q was right!)

All good right?

NOOO!


Why?

Because all those nice fuzzy horny feelings are gone.

Gone.

We didn't speak for 5 days and I realized, because of that, I don't even want to bother with him anymore. I mean we chatted that Thursday, but it wasn't the same, it was very generic. I need to be constantly stimulated, stay in contact and keep me interested, disappear and I WILL lose interest.

Also, that tongue business of his fucks with my spirit.

I didn't believe in "out of sight, out of mind" until now.

So anyhoots, I think by Friday, he's going to get the heave ho.

Next!

The next dude we have is a Kevin "I suck at communicating" K.

And the saga continues.....
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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Me and mah Boo!

Me and my coco!

and yes that's my mother, who while watching Dr. Oz, decides to YELL REALLY LOUD AND ASK ME if I ever had a UTI.

That friggin woman.


Sunday, January 10, 2010

Um yeah about "them"...

Let's call this one fucktard shall we?

I met fucktard last week on this, um, "website". Anyhoots, we talked, flirted and decided to meet up this past Thursday for a little, um one-on-one.

Well, damn.

Let's just say, I'm still sore.

And its Sunday.

Now I sent a nice, cordial msg to Mr. Fucktard reminding him to keep warm. I sent that text Saturday morning, and I have yet to hear from him.

Oh
really?

As per my favorite professor(*wink, wink*), she advised that I put him on ice until further notice.

And you *know* I could never pass up the chance to put someone on ice!

So he will be on ice until Monday night, LATE Monday night!

Ha!

So let's go over my Likes and Dislikes with Mr. Fucktard

Likes
*great chem in and out of the bedroom
*a smartass like me
*likes football
*super smart(investment banker)
*has a FLY APARTMENT and I want to steal his bed
*Italian
*AMAZING doggie
*is a pro with my toys, yum*
*nice body*

Dislikes
*short tongue.
*not a great kisser due to really short tongue*
*a smartass like me*

Yup, you read that right, he has a short tongue. We were kissing and all I could think was where the fuck was the rest of his tongue????? Its super short, which makes sucking his tongue a fucking burden. Ugggg I wondered if he'll be offended if I asked where the rest of tongue was?

So we shall see what happens when I de-frost him on Monday.


Next up? Mr. Ez!

Until next time!
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It's 12:42am....

Damn, I haven't updated in a friggin minute.....

Here's a quick rundown on what's been going on in my life:

*went to the funeral, felt completely overwhelmed being surrounded by my father's family, got drunk and had a Texas size hangover the next day

*work is really busy since the new year, I hope they extend my contract

*met a dude...porked him

*met another dude...going to pork him too on Friday

*resume pole classes, THANK GOD!!!!!!

*brought a new camera, wohhooooooo

The end!
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