Tired.

I'm tired.
I'm beyond tired and it's his fault.

I wish I could make this post about him or about how he .....

But I can't.

On Thursday I have the biggest interview of my life.

Its my entrance interview for school, I've come so far to get to this point. From the devastation of the rejection letter after failing the exam the first time, to the joy of hearing I could re-take the exam again, to the extreme nervousness at having to take the exam over, to the happiness at passing the exam on my second try and now....

To the absolute dread at having to interview to get into the program.

I'm beyond nervous, beyond scared, I want to work on my questions but I'm seriously having a mental blockage, the answers aren't there. Why do I want to be a Rad Tech? Why do I want this so much? Every time I try to find the answer, my brain blocks the answer.

I'm afraid to answer the question, I'm afraid of not having the right answer. I'm afraid of having my hopes and dreams dashed, I'm afraid of the rejection letter.

Where do I go from here? From there? I asked the Universe if this was meant to be and they've led me to this point.

I don't trust it, no, I don't trust *myself*. My doubts and fears are weighing my down. If I can't answer why I want to be a Rad Tech, why should they take a chance on me? Why should anyone?
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