Well...That was weird

When you take control away from a man....apparently they lose their shit.

Since we last spoke, Mr. Jackass was sitting comfortably on my blocked list. Well, after not replying to his last lame ass text, he decided...HEY, let's text her again and not only insult her but show my ass as well. 

....and show his ass he did.

"Happy Thanksgiving! I know I've been a bad man...but don't be mad, I've only given you 2 or 3 STD's...no that was someone else...ok you can ignore me."

Who. The. Fuck. Say. Shit. Like. That?

I'm baffled and extremely amused at this turn of events. Here was a guy who, would ignore my texts, answer me when HE felt like it and dammit if it meant replying 3 days later, so be it. He was a dick at times, not above saying mean shit to me, and took pleasure in treating me like nothing more than an annoyance. To see this dickhead become desperate to the point of making a complete ASS of himself, tickles me. I guess he doesn't like the shoe on the other foot so much.

Oh. Well.

In other news, I'm still looking for work. I did get a job with an well known non for profit organization, but apparently, they're run by monkeys and completely botched my start date, so  as of right now, everything is up in the air. Which sucks, because that means I have to start looking for work again. 

In boy news, I have a crush. 

33 yr old doctor, super cute, BANGING BODY, lived in India and South Africa and is a gym member at the fitness club I work at. His voice? can't melt panties. The only downside is that he's going through a divorce and for right now, he's used goods. 

That doesn't mean I can't admire from afar!

oh well, till next time!

You are doing the most....

Friday:

6am: Gym
8am-4pm: Clinic rotations
5pm: Home to change
7:45-10:15- Crissy off the wall pole party
1:21am: Arrive home

Saturday:

Lay in bed until 11am
12:30pm: Leave for work
9pm: Get home from work

Sunday:

Clean Fridge
Do nails
Pack gym bag

Monday: BED
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

oh yeah, that happened too...

I was on a roll so I figured, why not another post?!?!?!

So this one is going to talk about love and loved, well I thought it was loved lost.

In a nutshell? I had a lover who I developed what *I* thought was feelings/love even. Our relationship wasn't normal by any means, frankly, he had a tendency to be a complete dickheaded assmuncher. Everything in my gut, in my spirit told me that I needed to let him go because if I wanted a meaningful relationship, I had to sever my ties with him. There were times where I decided that I was done with him and I didn't stay true to my word and went back. 

That changed this summer. 

Since I spent my entire summer in clinic, I had a lot of time on my hands since I didn't have to worry about studying and I was done on Fridays by 10am. You would think that this would lead to us spending more time together(in bed of course), but the opposite happened.

I. barely. saw. the. man.

Between the months of June to August, I saw him....3 times. Now, see I understood that he has a son and he spent most of his time with him. However, there was really no excuse for the lack of...you know. I guess he felt that because the sex was fucking great and that I stuck around for his bullshit, I would be a-ok with it.

Yeah, no, fucker. 

Little did he know, I was in the process of completely checking out of our "relationship". Not to take anything away from him as a lover, but if I was completely honest with myself, our "relationship" was good for awhile, but it was never meant to last. I don't know if it was because I wanted more, but I felt weighed down by our situation. Here was a guy, who on paper, was everything I wanted, but he had a mean streak that sometimes was directed towards me. He never hit me, but he had a way of putting me down verbally and saying hurtful things to me that showed me that he just didn't give a shit about my feelings. He wasn't a bad guy per se, but I needed a partner, a companion and I didn't need someone who couldn't even muster a ounce of emotion where I was concerned.  So I decided for one last time, to block him, to be done with him. 

The day I blocked him, I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders. I felt hopeful, felt free. This whole time I've been in this situation with him, I've felt like I was holding myself back,  just waiting on him to realize he felt something for me. I realized that that kind of thinking, wasn't fair to me or fair to him. Dickhead or not, I shouldn't have placed expectations of him because we went into our situation understanding that it was purely physical and I couldn't flip the script just because I caught feelings.  I've never regretted blocking him, I knew for me, it was the right step in the right direction. I want something more than being some dude's bootycall, I want something substantial, with promise, something better. I deserve it.

Of course he contacted me recently, after being mia since August, but his ass is nice and comfy on my blocked phonelist, so there he will stay. Boy bye.

I was on OKCupid and for a bunch of "liberal/progressive" types, they are very "tribalistic" so no bueno. I deactivated my account, I don't have the time. At some point, I'll probably delete my account. 

I have days where I'm so hopeful and so sure that my 'someone' is right around the corner, and then there days like yesterday where I hear stories about great guys doing thoughtful things for their girlfriends and all I can think is: "when is it my turn?"

I know I have to be patient, have to hold onto faith, so that's what I'm going to do. In the meantime, I'm going to concentrate on school, my health, and getting out and enjoying life.

Till next time.

Ok, I'm done writing. 

Time flies and things change......

It has been awhile.
Too long...

I decided to take this blog into another direction to reflect the ongoing changes in my life. I've gone through ups and downs, lost friends and gained friends, got sick then got better, so I wanted to have a blog that focused more on the good things that are happening with my life.

One of the biggest obstacles that I've faced since my last post was my health. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my right knee and 2 months after that, I was sideline for almost a month with Plantar Fasciitis in my left foot. I felt like my life was turned upside down, I couldn't stand on my feet for a long period of time, I had to wake up 15 minutes earlier to do foot stretches, and I couldn't work out until my foot felt better. I didn't understand why I was going through this, why I was once again sidelined with a conditioned that affected my life and my goal of being a Radiologic Tech. Everyone I talked to wondered how I was going to manage since once of things about being a tech, is that you're on your feet for an extended period of time. To say  I was in a bad head space was an understatement, but little did I know, things always happen for a reason. 

After doing tons of research on Plantar Fasciitis, I realized that losing weight helped with reducing pain and relieving pressure off my feet. After being diagnosed with Plantar Fasciitis in my right foot, I decided to up my gym days. These days I work out 5 days a week and not only has my conditioned improved but I've never felt better. I have more energy, my weight has decreased and my strength has increased. At the time I couldn't see the forest from the trees but now I realized that having this conditioned has turned into a positive experience for me. 

In other news, I'm entering my senior year in Rad. Tech school and it has been an amazing experience. Once again life has shown me, it doesn't matter how much you plan something, life always takes you into a different direction. When I applied to school, I knew I wanted to eventually study Mammography.  This year as a senior, I was able to rotate through an advance modality such as CT, MRI and Mammo. Well of course, I chose Mammography and I was beyond excited to get a chance to learn as much as possible about performing Mammograms. 

Life however, had different plans.

Long story short, after spending a few hours in the Mammo department and having to leave early due to the state performing evaluations, I was sent to the MRI department  to work and observe. Entering school, I knew I had no interest in performing MRI's OR being a MRI tech. It was too hard, too confusing, and I wasn't having anything of it. However, after being there that day and working with the tech who was impressed at my ability to understand how to operate the machine, something clicked for me. I enjoyed it IMMENSELY. As life would have it, the next day after I realized I wouldn't be able to work on cases in the Mammo department, I switched modalities and spent the next 2 weeks being immersed in everything about MRI's. The tech trusted me enough to prep patients in the tube and even remove contrast IV's.  Once my rotation was over, I made the decision that once I graduate and begin working, I will attend the MRI cross training program at my school. I'm still going to do mammo because as a woman tech, it makes me more marketable, but my goal is to be a MRI tech. Luckily, the program is only 3 months and occur 2 nights a week.

I got a job with the YMCA and I'm hoping to get a start date so a girl can get paid. For now, I work at a gym on Saturdays which while nice, I rather not spend my weekends working, I need a serious amount of study time as I prep for the *cues dramatic music* The Big Scary Registry Exam!

Well, that's enough for today. Bye!