Revised Xmas list and what not.....

In talking with a friend of mine yesterday who was annoying me with her suggestions of what I should get people from Christmas(which part of I'm being cheap this year don't you fucking get?), I came up with some really good Christmas gifts for the people in my life.

Mom- My rich sister(lol) is buying our mom a new camera and she said that I can get a really good bundle that has a case, charger, and etc for under 30 bucks on Amazon!

Kid sis- I can get this kid a WHOLE outfit from Forever21 for under $40!!!!!!!!!! I'm talking jeans, top, fur vest(I'm soooo getting her this, she will love it!), jewelry and accessories to match!

Kat- I'm getting her a top and earrings from Forever21(this store is my friend)

The boys- same as before!

I'm so happy because I won't have to worry about shelling out big bucks this Xmas and I get to keep my sanity!

Now let's talk sex toys....

*disclaimer*

NSFP(Not Safe For Prudes)

Transitioning from Xmas to XXX.

Can we talk about the time my MOM found my fucking vibrator?????

Now if you don't know, I live with my mother and I'll be honest, its been a good experience. Yes, they(mom and sis) can annoy me, but I'm rarely home so it doesn't bother me as much.

And I'll keep it real, the only time when living at home can put a damper on my life is when I watch porn because that means I need to knock one off and the shower is the place of choice, and trust and believe, they always complain when I take "long showers".

Oh well folks.

So one day after watching some down home, knuckle dragging porn featuring Manuel(I love me some Manuel, hot damn!), I made my way to the shower for some um, extracurricular activities.

So I hid my slim vibe in my towel and placed my towel in my shower caddy since my mother and sis were both home and I didn't want to tip them off.

So on my way to the shower I placed my caddy on the couch because I left something in my room and went back to get it.

Big fucking mistake.

My mother, who was in the living room at the time, decided she was cold, so she TOOK my towel out of my caddy and covered her legs with it.

My vibrator was wrapped in the fucking towel!!!!!

When I stepped out of my room the first thing I noticed was my mother calmly watching TV while covered with my towel...

The next thing I noticed was my vibrator on the fucking couch....

In plain sight for me to see...

*screams*

Oh.My.God

I had a fucking freakout inside my head!

I calmly walked back into the living room and SAT in the vibrator and maneuvered it so I could slide it in my pocket without her noticing it.

It was pathetic, really.

I was seating like a whore in church.

So after sliding my vibe in my sweats pocket...

I headed to the bathroom, laughed my ass off and went about doing what I had to do.

I aint shit.

My mother never brought it up and I damn sure wasn't trying to broach the subject with her(I would die of mortification if she found my goodie bag.....) and after that, we went on living happily ever after.

The end.

:/

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