I will do this.

I will tell how I feel, how your actions shaped who I am today.

How I believe that love can't be trusted, how it hurts, how it makes you stupid.

I'm going to tell him, I will never forget when he left me in the hospital to go on a family trip, or when he threatened my sister that if "they" weren't allowed to come along for the ride, he wouldn't drive her back to school.

How he never spent not ONE New Year's with us.

How every gift we've ever given him, stays in the trunk of his car.

He can't sit there and expect me to welcome them with open arms..now, how's that fair to me? How? Now you don't want to treat us like dirty little secrets? Now you want all your kids to be together? I don't want that now. My god, I'm trying to undo all the fucking damage you did to me, but noooo, its good for you now, damn what I'm feeling, right Dad?

What about my healing? What about my feelings? What about my recovery?

I'm not ready.

I don't think I'll ever be ready.

I hope to God you understand.

Fuck you, you BETTER understand.
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